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The Secretary's Grotto (2017)


Installation at the disused Finsbury Park Conservative Club at 1 Prah Road, Finsbury Park, N4, whilst I was living upstairs in the old secretary's office.

Performer: John Fletcher

'The Secretary's Grotto' is a large scale installation within an alcove of the bar at number 1 Prah Road, Finsbury Park, London. The bar was previously used as the premises for the Finsbury Park Conservative Social Club. Here remains the secretary's office where he would note the minutes taken at committee meetings. The secretary was asked if he could arrange to get a turkey as in previous years for the buffet on Xmas-Eve lunchtime. We will supply a buffet, come inside. Please stick to the path, meet the secretary, and sit on his lap. If you're feeling generous help the Secretary redecorate his office, decorating the secretary's office was agreed at an approximate cost of £200-00. A florescent light should also be fixed. You can grab a ham or cheese sarnie on the way out some of them have got crisps in.


Written complaint from D. Mitchell, staff members called him a "prat" because he refused to buy a drink for the staff on Friday 16th June.


What year is it again? Oh yeah, 1985. Since the club opened Percy has been spreading gossip trying to demean the existing committee, it was decided that the secretary would make an announcement over the microphone about the subject at the weekend. 


Do you remember the time Mr. Woods stated that one or two members had come to him complaining that the Country and Western band were not here as had been arranged for Xmas Eve? The secretary gave the reason that we could not afford the £450 that they had wanted. The chairman got a bit heated and angry saying that it was peculiar that members never complained to other committee men only to Mr. Woods. He told Mr. Woods he should keep his mouth shut.


Mr. Davies suggested that George the Waiter should now retire and he knows of a chap that would do the job. 


Bounced cheques. 


D. Mitchell asked if we could do something about the state of dress by some members.


Mr. Mooney said that there was no fight and when the table and glasses were broken it was an accident. Having nothing further to add we then called on Mr. O'Brien who repeated the same story but did admit, there was a little bit of a fracas. Mr. Moore was then called. He said the same thing: 'it was an accident'. But they did try to clean up the mess. Mr. Walters was then called and asked for his version, he said that he was playing snooker at the time and was not involved but when he had finished playing he went to put the cue behind the bar and saw an elderly man lying on the floor holding his head. He picked him up, sat him on a chair and then left the club.


The HORIZON HOLIDAY vouchers valued at £190 would be drawn on Saturday 28th May. The Chairman suggested that to save any “aggro” we should ask Paul if he would put up all the Xmas decorations for the sum of £20-00.


But on a more serious note, the snooker table cloth has again been torn. The secretary got a quote from a firm to panel the lounge in wood, but the committee felt that as it was to last a long time it might prove boring to the membership. After discussion it was decided to obtain a quote for the bottom half of the walls to be paneled and the top half to be papered. Mr. Bennie suggested we moved the TV on a wall mount near the front window.


Football pontoon. Raise all spirits by 2p and Budweiser up 6p.


The Secretary read a letter of complaint from a lady member Mrs. O. Barrett regarding one of the male guests using the ladies toilet.


It had been noticed that under age children were drinking alcoholic drinks in the club, it was agreed that committee members should keep their eyes open for more evidence of this very serious offence.


Fight in club. After interviewing both members, it was decided to warn Mr. Fensome about his future behavior in the club. Mr D. Fitts and Mr. R McKewon were suspended for a period of three months. Mr. McKewon was unhappy with the decision and swore profusely at the committee. Minutes after leaving the committee room Mr. McKewon started further trouble downstairs and the committee decided that Mr McKewon should be expelled.



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